Terrified.

I don’t know how to start this entry. I’m feeling at a loss for words. So much in my head that I want to put on paper but no clue how to even get started. Have you guys been scared? Not scared like a rabid pit bull is chasing you but scared like I’m so excited but so scared at the same time. I liken it to being 14 years old and it is the summer before high school. You can’t wait to get there but you are dreading it at the same time. I clearly remember thinking what if I get lost in the halls? and what if some of the older girls make fun of me? and could I possibly even get beat up? I had nightmares of stupid old movies and books where the younger kids were forced into the water fountain and wondered how I could possibly walk the halls of the school looking as though I had wet my pants.

At the same time there was the excited anticipation of seeing my friends after a long summer and trying out for the cheerleading squad. For the first time, we could leave the campus for lunch and although gym class was still required, there was not a specific uniform that had to be worn, oh joy! On a little side note, wasn’t it always so disappointing when it was 87 degrees the first day of school but all of your new school clothes were much more appropriate for a 43 degree day? I think I may have worn a leather bomber jacket once on an 87 degree day just because I HAD to wear it. Back to the matter at hand, I was super excited to start high school but I was scared to death. Terrified really.

But this could even be worse. I might be more scared right now. Who am I to think that I can compete in a real triathlon? What if I get lost in the water? What if some of the more experienced athletes make fun of me? Could I possibly even get beat up? The nightmares are returning. I am seeing myself tumbling off my bike and curling up in a fetal position along the side of a country road as the guys on their fancy bikes whiz past and shake their heads in pity, if they even notice me. Could I be the very last person to cross the finish line? It’s almost as if I never got on a bike before, never laced up some running shoes, and never dangled my feet in the water.

Sure, I’m excited too. The truth is I’ve been training for this since January when I first got in the pool and swam only 400 yards, one lap at a time, breathing like an emphysema patient between each lap. The truth is I can run three miles even when I’m tired. And the real truth is that the only way I’ll be the last person to cross the finish is if I get badly injured. But still, the fear of this race is eating me alive, from the inside out.

I teach my patients to use the adrenaline from their anxiety to conquer their fears. So now it’s my turn. I’m hoping this adrenaline rush doesn’t make me run away and instead can fuel me to fight this course and do my best. My challenge to you this week is to face a fear. Take on something you are afraid of. Allow yourself to feel all the emotion and queasiness that accompanies the fear and then use that to take it on. Stop running away. And then let me know how you feel when you finally conquer the fear.

My guess is that none of us will get lost, none of us will be made fun of, and none of us will get beat up. In fact, we’ll probably all be more successful than our current level of fear wants us to believe. So come on, let’s get it over with. I’m facing my fear and I’m expecting you to woman up and face yours as well.

Warmly,
Brooke

Go The Extra Mile

Wow, summer is hard. It's harder than the holidays I think. There is so much to do with friends, family, and kids' sports. It's half over and I feel like it hasn't even started. Worse yet, the summer food disguises itself as healthy but sugar and fat seem to rear their ugly heads at every place we gather. Sure, I've tried to have a plan for handling summer food. But I didn't know there would be a really cool band playing on the way back to the hotel after Summerfest. Those 14 Coronas just slid down so easy after sweating in the sun all day. And the fresh picked strawberries? Those damn things. Sure, they are delicious on their own but they are a party for your tastebuds when they top some ice cream or a cake, or both I guess. But I wouldn't know.

Every weekend has a cook out. Every baseball diamond has a concession stand. Every grocery store has ice cream. What are we supposed to do? Just avoid this stuff all summer long? I'm having a really hard time with that. Please tell me you are too.

Guess what this means people? It's time to take things up a notch. I'm not joking and you shouldn't be either. Ladies who are planning to run the half marathon in September, it's time to get serious about your training program. 5K ladies, have you started moving your bodies? My crazy marathon gals, you are on your own. You don't need me!

My mission right now? The Ripon Medical Center Triathlon is in 26 days. I have to announce it so that I don't back out! I rode the bike course today for the first time and wanted to cry when I saw the hills. I'm scared to death of the swim after a pretty bad situation at my first triathlon in Winneconne. And when those things are done, there is still a 5K to think about. Maybe I should just forget it and eat another piece of shortcake.

No, no, no. We've all come to far. Go ahead and eat the shortcake but we're taking it up a notch, right? So, where can you sqeeze just one extra mile into your day? 15 minutes or less, where can you sqeeze it in? I'm dead serious. A quick walk or run early in the morning. Over your lunch break, stop sitting at the computer and get outside. Moms, get your kids in the stroller or make them ride their bikes. Remember, this is not your work out, it's just your extra. It won't hurt nearly as much as you think. In fact, I think you're gonna like it.

And now that we're taking things up a notch, it's also time for me to change the format of my blog a bit. I feel my writing has grown stale and I've run out of topics. For the next few weeks it will be a quick tip each week, something to get you moving and change things up a bit. A challenge if you will. This week's challenge is to get that extra mile four out of seven days. Four miles on top of your current program. Don't have a program yet? You better do four miles this week! Walk, run, bike, roller blade, crawl, I don't really care.

I did have another piece of cake by the way. But I'm leashing up the pug and getting my extra mile in right now. Get off your butt and get yours in too!

Fight for a Win

I learned a lot this weekend and I spent most of it on a baseball diamond.
But let me back up a second.

If you are married, you know how hard marraige can be. If you are divorced, you know all too well. If you've never been married, let that be caution to you! The point is that in marraiges there are days, sometimes even months, when you look at your spouse and wish you had never met him or her. And there are years when you realize just how good you've got it.

I'll be the first to admit my marriage has been through a rough spell. Without giving out the gory details, I will share that we've shouted threats of divorce to one another. We probably have had the same arguments as many of you, usually about money. Evil, relationship-ruining money. I can be controlling, bossy, and cold while my husband can be inattentive and impulsive. Which, by the way, just makes me more controlling and bossy. I'm always convinced that he doesn't understand how to be in a "relationship". I'm sure many of you other wives can relate.

So that brings me back to the baseball diamond. My husband has been busy all spring coaching our son's baseball team. I think he has a good balance of competitive spirit and understanding that 8 year olds are still learning the game. He devotes so much time to practicing and planning and working with the kids individually and as a team. He doesn't want to let anyone down, especially the kids. Bottom line, he works hard at this relationship with his team. And he expects them to work hard in return.

This weekend, our team was in their first tournament of the year. It was the first tournament ever for most of our inexperienced team. Unfortunately, it was not the first tournament for many of our experienced competitors. Toward the end of our last game, our kids were down by at least 15 runs and they were coming off the field for their next at bat. Their heads were hanging pretty low, it was really hot, and we had a few more innings to go. My husband gathered the kids up and told them that they could make mistakes but they could not give up, ever. He shouted to them, "men work hard and don't give up!" Don't tell him I told you but I think he even choked up a bit.

The kids didn't pull off the win, but they didn't give up either. They scored a few more runs and allowed a few less in the remaining innings of the game. It was heart breaking and heart warming at once. I didn't want to see those kids lose but I loved seeing how hard they tried to make the team and their families proud.

I started to think that the relationship between coach and team is kind of like a marraige. It can be so hard and feel so bad that you feel almost willing to walk away with your head hanging low. But if one of you walks away, you both lose. When you continue to work hard, together, every one around you can enjoy the win. Or at least appreciate the effort it took to try to get there.

When I saw my husband with his team this weekend, I appreciated him in a way I haven't for a long time. I saw that he can be very attentive and patient and that he does understand how relationships work. I realized that I need to let go of things a bit and be more laid back when I just want things to go my way. I realized that I'm not willing to give up, not even close.

Whether it's your kid's baseball team, your marraige, or some battle within yourself, it's important to keep fighting. Even though my husband told his team that men don't give up, it's important to know that women don't give up either. Keep fighting ladies!

What are You Working On Now?

Ten years ago, if you would have told me that I would be really into fitness, I would have laughed my (much fatter) ass off. But now, I have almost come to accept it. I am into fitness. I spend my time running, biking, swimming, stretching and whatever else catches my attention. When I'm not doing those things, I'm reading about them, talking about them, and planning my time to be sure I can squeeze it all in. I used to wonder who I was becoming, but now I'm just really happy with who I am.

Every where I go people ask me, "What are you working on?" In the past it would have been school or work or the famous answer, "Not Much." But now when they ask me what I'm working on, it's usually a distance, a speed, or a new activity. I sometimes hesitate to reveal what it is I'm actually working on because I'm worried I might jinx myself. If I admit I am working toward something bigger, I might fail and then I'll have to admit that too!

So what am I working on right now? A lot of you already know that I'm planning to run the Fox Cities Half Marathon this fall. But I'm also planning to test the waters of the triathlon world this summer. The next inevitable question is "What does that entail?" Well, to start with, it entails a lot of really hard work. The distance I am aiming for includes a quarter mile swim, a 15 mile bike ride, and a 5k run. Individually, none of these seem too hard. But string them together and it becomes the biggest challenge I have yet to face.

Let's break this down. I've got to swim a quarter mile in the lake. At the rate the weather is progressing, I'll be lucky if the water is 70 degrees. Brrrrrr........ I am practicing at the Y and when the pool is less than 82 degrees, I contemplate leaving before my big toe even enters the water. When I get tired in the pool, I stop and grab the side and take a few deep breaths before continuing. I also panic if I have to share my lane. So now I am picturing entering the water in a massive crowd, choking on ice water, and having nothing to hold on to.

So let's say I survive the swim. The clock doesn't stop there. At that point, I will need to adjust my wardrobe and hop on my bike. Fifteen miles. No big deal. I sometimes ride 15 miles after work. Oh, but did I forget to mention that I have a network of flags between Ripon and Neenah that I monitor constantly? If the flags are moving at all, I start to worry. My rides are planned completely based on the wind speed and direction. More than 15 mph and my bike won't see the light of day. Other days, I brave it but always ride into the wind first so that it is at my back on the way home. Something tells me that besides not heating the water, the race director is not going to change the bike route the morning of the race just to accomodate my weather fears.

Ok fine. Let the wind gust at my face. See if I care. Because when I get off the bike, I'm going to change my shoes and proceed to run a 5k. Where I stand now, a three mile run is a pretty small work out. I save it for nights when I have to squeeze something in between baseball practice and spelling words. I'm getting cocky. I am working on running following a bike ride. Guess what? It's really hard. It's almost like you can't feel your legs. If you can, they aren't communicating with your brain. It's like a small pony, trying to walk for the first time. Oh, but that pony has to win a race. Or at least complete it.

So that's what I'm working on. It's so much more than swimming, biking, and running. It's survivial. It's facing the elements. It's proving to yourself that you are more than a one trick pony. Yes, the pony must do more than JUST learn to walk! It's wardrobe planning and management, nutrition and hydration, exerting and conserving energy at just the right moments, and even trying to have fun.

Wow, this is so intimidating. But I wouldn't change it for the world. I could never go back to having "nothing much" to do. I enjoy achieving my goals but I can't imagine ever being satisfied enough to retire my running shoes or my bike helmet. There is always another distance, another event, another speed, another challenge.

You shouldn't be satisfied either. I don't care if you aren't an athlete but you are something. I know a lot of you are working on a college degree. Many are parents or planning for another baby. You all have interests, talents, passions and hobbies. Have you taken that skill as far as you can? I would be willing to bet you haven't. My guess is that you can achieve more. Don't let the obstacles stand in your way. Don't be afraid of the cold and the wind. Keep putting one foot in front of the other even when your legs aren't communicating with your brain.

When you cross the finish line, enjoy it. Celebrate. Take some time off. But don't let yourself be done. When the excitement wears off and you start getting restless again, you are bound to ask yourself that question before anyone else does. What are you working on now?

I hope you have a good answer.

I Know You Are Out There!!! (Psstt. . . It's not too late!)

It's May 15, 2011. A few months ago, I invited and challenged all of you to commit to running or walking in one of the Fox Cities Marathon events. Twenty four of you said "YES". Seventeen of you said "MAYBE." Well, where are you now? We have 125 days left to prepare!! Don't worry, it's still plenty of time. Yes, even if you haven't started yet.

Some of you have been working really hard. Many have already finished a 5K. Some of the veterans have new half marathons or even marathons under their belts. Erin Moldenhauer completed the Green Bay Marathon in less than four hours today, despite the gusting winds!! You've got your kids, parents, siblings, and in-laws out there hitting the pavement with you. We've got a few pregnancies with new babies soon joining us in jogging strollers. They are so lucky to have you as mothers who will set healthy examples for them from the minute they are born.

I'm sure it hasn't been easy so far. There are days where you feel like you've gone as far as you can go. What about when you've reached a milestone and a few days later you feel that you'll never reach it again? How many of you have given up only to get back out there? These are the days when you find out what you are really made of. If you can beat the mental game and the tough times, the good, fast days will mean that much more to you.

Do you know what I have loved the most so far? I've seen new connections made, new friendships through fitness. Others have reconnected and are relying on old solid friendships to help you get through the crazy schedules and tough workouts. Seeing you support one another has touched me in a way I never expected. And I love to see you trying things you never would have done before.

But what about the rest of you? Don't think I have forgotten about you. There are many who committed to this goal who have been quiet since the turn of the New Year. There have been some who came out of the gates running strong but who have let something get in their way. I am worried about you, sincerely. I worry that you think you have let me or the rest of the group down. But most of all, I am worried that you have let yourself down.

You are the people I wish I could see and talk to. What has gotten in the way, what has stopped you? Is it work, the kids, family demands? Have you lost your drive or have you just fallen off the wagon? Are you worried you aren't good enough or as strong as some of the other girls? Here's what I want you to think about right now. What was going on in your head when you agreed to run in September? How were you feeling when you made that commitment?

I'm guessing that you had some sense of hope or you would not have agreed to it. Maybe you thought it would give you the motivation to finally get moving. I'm here to tell you right now, if you have lost hope and motivation, it is not too late. If you are worried about how you will measure up to the other participants, it is time to let go. If you have let yourself and other people down by giving up on your goal, it doesn't have to be that way. You still have time to turn things around. Yes, YOU CAN DO THIS.

It's time to look at the goal you set on day 1. Is it still manageable? Did you agree to the half marathon but now feel like you are better suited to the 5K? Were you hoping to run your event but now realize you will likely have to walk some or all of it? There is nothing wrong with modifying your goal. It doesn't make you a failure. It makes you realistic and smart. Better to set an achievable goal and reach it than to set one you will never reach at all.

Now that the goal is clear in your mind again, make a plan. Start with a plan for this week and then one for the month. Again, be realistic. Put expectations on yourself that are challenging but not impossible. No more excuses. You can find time, you can reach these goals and you can change your life. It is not too late.

Maybe there are a few of you reading this who were too unsure to even say "MAYBE." Or, you flatly said "NO"! Are you ready now? It's not too late for you either. With four months to go, you have plenty of time to sign up for a couch to 5k program or form a group of friends that wants to get in shape and reach a goal together. But it's not going to happen if you keep sitting there doubting yourself. This is coming from a person who spent YEARS doubting herself. I'm serious.

Congrats to you 5k first timers. Thank You to the veterans who continue to inspire me. Best Wishes to the soon-to-be Moms. Keep relying on each other for support and keep letting us know what you have accomplished or when you are struggling. To the rest of you, it's time to get back on board. But don't do it because I'm asking you to. Do it because you can.

Crossing a finish line is one of the most rewarding and fulfilling experiences you can imagine. Don't deprive yourself of that accomplishment. Recommit yourself now and celebrate yourself later.

I can't wait to see you out there.

Love
Brooke

Ridin' Solo

Ahhh. . . .vacations. We live and work for them, dream and plan ahead for them, save and splurge for them. Then we get there and what happens? We usually have fun, of course. But there are also the whining children. Come on, you all have one in your family who has to puke just before you leave. There is the waiting around for the slow one, choosing restaurants for the picky one, and skipping indulgences for the frugal one. There are the petty husband and wife arguments that occur when you spend a whole week together without the pleasure of escape to the work day. And if you don't plan well, there is one bathroom for you all to share.

A dream come true, right? Uh-huh. I learned a valuable lesson a few years ago when I vacationed with my high school besties in Arizona where one of them got married. (Dare I mention that it rained the whole week. . . . .in the desert?) It was on that vacation when I learned how much fun it can be to travel with friends. There was no worry about bed times or potties or who needed sun screen. I suddenly remembered fondly a time when I only had to be responsible for myself. But we still had to share a bathroom. Since then I've had lots of good travel memories with friends in New York, Portland, and even the close-to-home getaways like Lake Geneva, the Dells, and Milwaukee. Who can forget the sister vacation to D.C.?

But I have discovered something new. Not necessarily better, but different in a very good way. The Solo Vacation. That's right, girls, vacationing by yourself. At first, it doesn't really sound fun, I know. Who will you chat endlessly with, share a bottle of wine with, and shop with? Those really are the cornerstones of the greatest girlfriend vacations. And the answer is simple. No one. And here is the best part. You will love it. You know why? BECAUSE YOU GET TO DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!!!!!

This week, I had the pleasure of traveling to Boston for a conference. (I am obligated here to thank my employer, Winnebago County, for this opportunity in very tough economical times. I promise I will pay you back tenfold with the vast knowledge I gained from very highly educated instructors this weekend.) When I made the arrangements, I decided to pick up the tab for two extra days and it has been worth every penny. I got here Thursday and am leaving tomorrow and I believe I've seen the entire city on foot. Just to scratch the surface, I have been to Harvard, Fenway, all of the Freedom Trail historical sites, up and down Newbury and Charles Streets a hundred times, Boston Common, the library, and the jogging path along the Charles River.

One thing to point out and I believe this deserves its own paragraph. I must begin with a disclaimer that I am totally devoted to my husband and family and the next few sentences in no way should lead you to doubt that. But as a woman who knows how women talk, I must make a comment about men in Boston. There seems to be two types. There are the stereotypical, stocky, perhaps chubby men with scruffy faces who love the Red Sox and say things like "Fah-get a-baht it." (Translation "forget about it".) Then, there are the really hot men. Really hot. And they all seem to be gay. Which makes me think that the gay men here are very fortunate because they seem to have a large pool from which to choose a potential partner.

Moving on. In order to embark on a solo vacation, here are some things that I recommend. Do some research. Buy a cheesy tourist book and map that will get you through your destination. I have found these books well worth the 15 bucks. You will get good tips for using public transportation, saving a few bucks, and avoiding bad restaurants or overrated attractions, allowing you to devote all your time to only the coolest things.

Recommendation number two. Do your best to appear like a local. Why? Because it's fun to pretend, that's why. Here's how you do it. Walk fast and look mostly annoyed, charging into traffic against the lights. I have gotten so good at this that tourists have stopped me on the street to ask for directions. Of course at the famous tour destinations, this act loses it's luster and you fit in with the rest of them, ooo-ing and ahhh-ing over the main attraction, and that's fun too.

Finally, and most importantly, you must let go of any and all anxiety you have about doing things alone. Trust me, no one in the restaurants thinks it's weird that you are sitting by yourself. This is how it all ties together, you see. I have written this blog for over a year, trying to express how being fit has changed my life and hoping that some of my experience can inspire you on a journey of your own. It's not just about the exercise or eating right or the joy of fitting into smaller clothes. It is about the confidence gained through doing all of those things. It is about the freedom of finally being so comfortable with yourself that you can sit in a major league baseball park all alone and not really care if anyone else thinks it's weird.

We spend so much time, especially those of us who live in small towns, worrying about fitting in and almost forcing ourselves to conform to unspoken rules in order to avoid looking like an outcast. I have learned that part of the joy of visiting a large city is the ability to experience individuality in a way we don't have access to at home. I would never have felt this kind of freedom without my solo vacation.

I know you may not have the money or the time. I realize that your work and your family need you. But I dare you to start thinking, planning, saving, whatever it takes. Where would you go? What do you want to see? What scares you the most about doing it alone? At some point, go for it.

Did I forget to mention the best part? You won't have to share a bathroom.

I'll see you when I get back to reality,
Brooke

A Good Kind of Crazy

Bored with your workouts lately? Need something to liven them up? I get that feeling often. We tend to get into pretty mundane routines, running the same routes at the same times, often crossing paths with the same people. It's even worse at the gym. On the treadmill or spin bike, we look at the same scenery for hours upon hours. Something's gotta give or we're going to throw in the towel.

My solution to this problem is to start getting a bit creative. Not just creative, but almost a little crazy. When it comes to working out, there are a couple types of crazy. I saw a woman on the elliptical yesterday whose panty lines clearly revealed that she was wearing thong underwear under her yoga pants. Ignorant Crazy. There is the girl who is clearly anorexic, works out for hours, and then sprays herself with bronzer in the locker room until it is foggy in there. Sad Crazy. What about the men who spend more time walking around and tightening their gloves than they do actually lifting weights? Crazy Dorks. In short, these guys can all be called "BAD CRAZY".

I'm talking about a different crazy, a good kind. There is a woman who swims at the 20th Avenue YMCA. She's not a small woman but she is a damn good swimmer. Her flip turns are acrobatic and she glides through the water without a ripple. We call her the "The Black Dart" referring the to color of her swimsuit and the precision of her stroke. The Black Dart is good crazy.

I like to say that I am FUN Crazy. Here's how I do it. I like to get my legs going as fast as I can sustain for about 20-30 minutes on the spin bike. Thanks to a really great spin teacher, I can go pretty fast. Once I'm in my rhythm, I start getting a crazy look in my eyes. At times, I'll plaster a smile on my face or shake my head as if I'm responding to something that no one else can hear. Other times, I'll put a really intense look on my face, like I am taking myself way too seriously. I notice that people look at me kind of strange and I like to think that they are admiring how fast I am going on the bike. Usually by this point, there is a good pool of sweat on the floor that has dripped off my chin.

Sound kind of crazy? Of course it does. The best part is that I literally enjoy every second of this foolish behavior, making a routine, boring workout way more fun! I actually usually get a better ride this way because I must really keep up the speed in order to pull the whole act off.

The other thing I love is to craft choreography routines to the songs I listen to the most. Think I look crazy on the spin bike? You should see me on the treadmill. I actually subdue it a bit at the Y but in my basement, it is a serious show. I know it's good when I am laughing out loud at myself.

The fact of the matter is that if you are going to commit yourself to fitness, it needs to be for life. Anything that you do for your whole life is bound to get boring now and then. It is up to you to find ways to keep yourself interested and liven things up a bit. Getting a little bit (good) crazy makes you feel confident and allows you to have fun.

So get a little crazy this week. Let me know how it goes. I'm always looking for ways to improve my act.

What Are You Afraid Of?

It's Sunday again, isn't it? I had such a busy weekend and am struggling to put together any string of thoughts that makes sense, can make you laugh, or inspire. This must be what real writers refer to as writer's block. Maybe the real writers also blow the dust off their keyboards to kill time while they "think" about what to write. I wonder how long they stare in space, or how many times they start a sentence and delete it. I'm up to 17.

How do I share the details of a weekend with so many twists and turns? I started out by chaperoning the 2nd grade field trip to the Ledgeview Caves on Friday. It didn't rain. But I was bundled up with warmer clothes than I would wear on a ski trip in January. Well, I don't actually ski but I can't imagine I would need to wear that many layers. I got filthy with mud but it was all worth it for a first time experience of crawling through tunnels into large caves and seeing the wonder on the second graders faces as they looked around the giant underground spaces.

But wait, not all of them were filled with wonder. What was that? Some of them appeared to be filled with some other emotion, one that closely resembled fear. Yes, that's what it was alright. Some of those kids were scared to death to descend the ladder into the caves or crawl through the tunnels that would take them on the next leg of the tour. The thing that upset me the most is that all of the scared kids were girls. And a couple of them actually said to me, "I'm scared because I can't do stuff like this."

OK. Does that hit a sore spot or what? I looked into the eyes of those scared little girls and I saw myself. At age 8, up to bat for little league and scared to death that I would strike out because I wasn't good at stuff like that. At age 15, faking illness in gym class to get out of the basketball unit because I couldn't do stuff like that. And at age 25, getting fat on the couch because I wasn't good at anything. With the help of some amazing group leaders, each of those scared little girls completed all of the challenges of the day, sometimes shaking like a leaf.

If there is anything in life I regret, it's not standing up to those fears. I'm so glad those little girls did it. They were so proud of themselves. At the end of the tour I told them they when they are 35 years old, they will be very happy that they crawled through those tunnels. I'm sure they thought I was nuts, like that old age of 35 was light years away, but I guarantee that I'm right.

I know that a lot of you have similar fears. I've seen it in your comments or in the private messages you send me. I've heard some of you say it, "I could never do that", whatever it may be. But something wonderful is happening. Some of you are facing your fears too. On Saturday, I had the pleasure of seeing you cross the finish line of your first 5K or half marathon. Others met personal goals. Admit it, you were afraid before you started, nervous that the goal might not be met. But the looks on your faces at the end of the race were absolutely priceless to me. I bet when you are 65, you will look back and say "I'm so glad I did that."

If you saw me right now, I might have a look of fear in my eyes. I'm afraid I can't keep writing this blog each week, that I can't entertain you much longer and that I'll never find success as a writer. But this current bout of writer's block is not going to stop me. Even if this is the best I ever do, I know I will look back someday and be glad I kept this blog and shared it with you.

Contemplate your fears and start to take them on. No matter what age you are now or live to be, you will never regret it.

More Hills Coach

My husband loves to tell this story from high school football when the coach would have the guys run hills and then make them beg for more. Apparently the team literally had to say, "More Hills Coach" before starting up again. I find this oddly funny and have to wonder if it helped anything to tire these guys out on hills when their 1989-1993 record was 5-21. Perhaps, coach, less hills would have been a better option.

Yet, as I grow as a runner, I am learning that hill repeats are a common and recommended drill for improving speed and endurance. After avoiding this portion of training for two years, I decided it was time to suck it up and start taking this advice seriously. Really, when you consider hills, the metaphor to life is almost so obvious it's cheesy. I mean, Miley Cyrus actually has a song about it. Of course you Miley fans already know, it's not what's waiting on the other side, it's the climb, right? Uh-huh.

Like many of you, I have a few favorite routes that I use for my workouts. For years now, I have been walking up the Thorn Street Hill, also known as the "college hill" where every Ripon child has had the pleasure of sledding down at full speed only to get a solid spray of snow to the face at the bottom. The very brave would start at the top, near the dorms where there is a double jump, guaranteed to give supreme air and a possible tailbone fracture if the snow is packed too hard.

I have loathed that hill but forced myself to walk up it hundreds of times. I never dared to allow myself to think I could ever run up that sucker, until two years ago. Riding high on the success and cockiness of a completed quarter marathon, I entered the Ripon Doug Lyke Memorial 5k. My sister and I looked around at the competition, hoping to see some folks we thought we could beat. The whole high school cross country team was there. And a 55 year old man in a camoflage sweatband. We were in trouble.

The route included the college hill and I felt ready. I had something to prove, running with my sister for the first time in our lives, and my goal was to finish without walking, hill and all. We didn't make it. We started out too fast, trying to keep pace with the high schoolers at first and then just trying not to make total fools of ourselves. We had to stop half way up the hill and walk. My disappointment was only hidden by the near death experience of the actual attempt to run up the hill. They held that race twice that summer. I put off entering the second time until the night of the race, then entered just for fun, and walked up the stupid hill once again.

It's been my nemesis for almost two years. I run miles and miles but never up that hill. I walk up to the top or avoid it all together. But in the back of my mind, I have always known that I must conquer it. I spent the whole winter in preparation, running incline intervals on my treadmill until I nearly fell off. And when I tackled that hill a few weeks ago, I ran up it as if it was a flat country road, feeling like I won a million dollars at the top.

But that's not enough. Oh no. Things have to get a little crazy now. Perhaps the hill is taunting me. Perhaps it is daring me to try again. "You can't do it twice", it shouts from across town. And that's when this hill gets symbolic of all the things I thought I couldn't do. I laced up my running shoes (still New Balance by the way), and cranked up my ipod (still Flo Rida by the way). I headed over to the hill with a bit of swagger, refusing to let even a gusting wind stand in my way.

The first time up the hill, I thought of 2008, when I walked and walked, taking on that hill at a snail's pace. I passed the college boys soccer team and remembered when my roommates and I at Marian College would roller blade past soccer practice and hope to be noticed. It felt good. Round 2: This one was for 2009, twice trying and failing to run up that damned hill. I had to ask the soccer boys to move over as I ran past them. But that's not enough. Third time up the hill was for my shopping trip yesterday. I got jeans two sizes smaller than I wore last fall and I better make it up this hill again if I think I'm going to keep wearing them. But, hell no, that's not enough! One more time, FOUR TIMES, running up that hill, just to prove I could. Just to show those college kids I still have something in me. One of the boys even waved at me the fourth time around. I dared him to join me and I think I frightened him.

So when the doubt creeps into my mind, as it surely will continue to do from time to time, the only thing I can do to prove to myself how far I've come is to scream in my own ears "MORE HILLS COACH". And this time I get it. The hill has made me stronger, given me confidence, and taught me that there will always be bigger and better challenges ahead of me.

Find your own hill. I don't care how tall it is. I don't care if you have to walk or crawl up it. I just want you to take it on. It's going to hurt. You will hate it, and me for that matter. But don't let that stop you. Someday, you will run up that hill four times and you can shout out to all the soccer boys in the land. And it won't even matter if they aren't there to hear you. YOU will be there and that is all that really matters.

A Few of My Favorite Things

I have had a really tough week. It was the worst. Most days I was tired, made excuses for myself and didn't get anything done. I whined, I complained, I was a bitch to my husband. Everyone irritated me. I sucked as a mom, cook, nurse and everything else. I even sunk so low as to pull this old stunt while discussing my new bike. This is me talking to my husband, "Oh, sure. You just don't think I'm good enough to ride a bike this nice. I've never been good enough for you, have I? I suppose you think I'm too fat?" Why does my weight always get brought into these arguments? The worst part is that I really hate myself when I am like this.

So, it has been seven days and it's time for me to lay this week to rest. My plan to say goodbye to my horrible week and try to welcome in a more positive week is to tell you about things that I really love a lot. There is no rhyme or reason to this list. Just a bunch of goodness. So here goes.

Dogs: always there to please, fun to play with and snuggle. We have three dogs and our lives would not be the same without them. Although our house might be cleaner.

Asparagus: While there are many ways to prepare and eat this amazing veggie, my favorite is to drizzle it with olive oil, season with sea salt and fresh ground pepper and roast in the oven for about 15 minutes. I then proceed to eat the whole bunch. It is to die for. Warning: the smell of your urine may later kill you, so be careful.

Swimming: Minus the skin tight apparel, swimming makes me feel really good. As long as the pool isn't freezing.

Driving: This, on it's own, is a recreational activity. It can be very therapeutic. Although I guess maybe I shouldn't be letting my mind wander as much as I do. . . oops.

Shopping: Why does spending money have to feel so good? I wish I could be one of those people who says material things aren't important. I'm sorry. I'm not. I love material things. Especially shoes and jackets. And beauty products. Oh, and t-shirts. Purses too, well, all types of bags really.

Cured meats: This is a new thing, but I can't get enought pastrami, salami, prosciutto, pepperoni. Especially pastrami. By itself, on a sandwich, salad, pizza, cheese platter. Cured meat is truly a cure, for many things.

So that's my list. My dream day would be to take a good long swim, then drive for a while until I reach a killer shopping destination where I could lunch on pastrami and roasted asparagus all with the company of my sweet not-so-little pug in the passenger's seat. Just thinking of it makes me feel better than I have for the past week.

What's on your list?

An Exchange of Five Letter Words

By now you know my secrets. You've been reading long enough to catch on. I'm not doing anything magical here. Just an ordinary woman who decided that she was going to get in shape. I've written a lot about the mental toughness of athletes, especially runners. It's the one thing I must keep reminding you AND myself when we tackle new challenges. My body can do this, but can my head?

When I run, I have a constant dialogue going on in my mind and sometimes those old evil thoughts creep in. The worst for me is a familiar, vulgar five letter word, G-U-I-L-T. Yesterday I felt guilty about leaving Sam in front of the TV watching endless episodes of Sponge Bob while I was out running. (Side note: does Nickelodeon ever make new episodes?) It occurred to me that I planned my route down a big hill instead of up the incline. The inside-the-head dialogue now screaming, "Loser, you still can't do hills." So I felt guilty for letting myself down. This was all on top of the guilt over the vacation indulgences that included a lot of unhealthy carbohydrates, aka desserts.

Here are some other things I have felt guilty about recently: allowing my kid to drink soda; not taking my dog for a walk often enough even though she is clearly obese; Girl Scout cookies; Jersey Shore (OK, that's a guilty pleasure); eating pizza while watching Biggest Loser; spending while telling my husband not to spend; the extra chocolate chip cookie I just ate.

Guilt is like gangrene. It can just eat away at you endlessly until you feel rotten enough to die. The challenge is to cut off the dead piece before it spreads too far. We all need to amputate our guilt in an effort to preserve the healthy parts of our bodies and minds. I think the easiest way to accomplish this seemingly difficult task is to replace the emotions that accompany guilt with healthier thoughts, emotions, and perspectives on our behaviors. I feel very strongly about this. Gangrene is one of the primary reasons I focused on psychiatry. Significantly fewer cases of gangrene.

As some of you are beginning to realize, the thoughts and feelings that occur while running can often undo negative feelings all by themselves. While I was running up a smaller hill last night, I crossed paths with the high school track coach, who waved at me, as if to acknowledge "hey there fellow runner". About a half mile down the road, I saw the Ripon College cycling coach speed down the street in his full garb, enjoying our nice spring day on his bike. He's been biking all winter but it was an honor to share the road with him. And suddenly, in that moment, that awful five letter word was replaced by a new one. P-R-I-D-E

I am proud of myself for running, cycling, and swimming to burn off the cookies and ice cream. I'm proud that my son does well in school and athletics while allowed the occasional soda and Nick marathon. And I'm proud to have a solid career with a pay check that allows for a few indulgences even when times are tough. Wow, this feels so much better than the guilt I felt just five minutes ago.

Take inventory of your guilt sometime soon. I am willing to bet that you haven't been out stealing cars, selling drugs, or burning down buildings. Now THOSE would be things to feel guilty about. But for the minor mistakes, the occasional slacker moments, and the pesky little things that really do not justify guilt at all? Forgive yourself now. Be reasonable. And take pride in what you are made of.

I'm proud of all of you. Happy running, walking, dancing, singing, and yes, even eating!

Brooke

A Bunch of Random Winning

So much to say, so little time. I am sitting here after a crazy weekend and my eyelids are literally drooping as I write. Life can get a little crazy and I've been feeling a little crazy lately too. So while the words all blur and run together, let me just tell you a few things that are on my mind.

Have you ever felt that you've reached your limit? That you can go no futher? That you've got nothing left? Let me assure that you haven't even seen what you are capable of. Some of you know my sister in law, Sara. Last year at this time, she was nearly diabetic. (Oh dear, I hope you don't mind me saying that. Blame my delerium. I'm a winner--wait that's Charlie Sheen.) Back to my sister in law. She took it upon herself to start walking. Just that, a little walking.

Those of us who live in Ripon couldn't drive to the Super Kmart without seeing her shrinking body moving through the streets of this town. She literally shrunk last summer and continues along that same path. Before I knew it, she was doing road races and power walked a half marathon in amazing time. So this girl DARES to tell us that she will not be able to run a 5K, she has hit a wall. Silly girl. It's all in her head. She is a winner too (Sheen again). Today she ran almost 5 miles.

Two years ago, I set out to run a 6 mile race with my friends. The thought was overwhelming. I had extra weight and a heavier heart, full of doubt. But with each mile I completed, I started to dream about the next. Two years later I have a half marathon under my belt and that six mile run is now a week day work out. Winner, winner.

I'm about to get a little off track here. My sister is sitting at her home in Plant City, Florida. They have a Strawberry Festival there every year. Plant City's claim to fame. But more importantly, she is majorly pregnant, today is her due date, and I will be there tomorrow. If I have any more winning left to do, please let the prize be a chance to meet my niece this week.

So, for the rest of you wondering if you are done being a winner. . . you're not. Winning comes from busting your ass, taking good care of your body, and believing that with each victory, you win the chance to prove to yourself that you can do more and more. You can run one more mile, climb a higher hill, swim another lap. Get it in your head now that you will continue to win and the victory will always be yours. Does that make any sense?

Bon Voyage,
Brooke

PS Charlie Sheen was not harmed in any way during the writing of this blog. I hope he gets help and I would be happy to be his personal psychiatric care provider for 3 million dollars per session. Winner!!

Two is Better Than One

I've never been one to have a workout buddy. I know that many of my readers have them, that special person they share their workouts with. I always worried that we would talk too much and wouldn't work hard enough. Or worse yet, I would not be a good match for the other person or I would be slowing her down. I didn't want to commit to anything with another person for fear I would need to back out at the last minute. Maybe I just never knew how to find the right person who has a similar style to me.

So how do you choose the right person to work out with? Should it be your best friend? For some of us, that just isn't practical. My best friend lives in Greenville and she could bust my butt in kickboxing. I live in Ripon and would prefer to run 5 or 6 miles. Working out together is not in the cards for us. What about your spouse or partner? For those of you who have been long time readers, you may be aware that I have tried working out with my husband. It's one thing to be competitive, but it's another thing to run to the point of vomiting just to be sure you beat your wife in a 5K. We don't run together anymore.

I had basically given up on working out with people. I have been a solitary woman on the treadmill, road, and in the pool. It was going ok for me. I was meeting milestones, pushing myself as hard as I thought I could go. It was this type of training that allowed me to complete my first half marathon.

And then my whole world got turned upside down. I met my match. Without even trying. It helps to have neighboring offices so that you have plenty of opportunities to check in with one another. (You know county workers, we really don't do anything anyway. But that's for a whole different type of blog.) Before you know it, a casual conversation becomes a friendly competition. One small comment becomes the motivation you have needed all week.

And suddenly I know what I've been missing by not having a workout partner. A really good workout partner wants to win but doesn't want you to lose. She wants her hard work to force you to work harder. She wants you to stay in the race with her. She knows that you are capable of way more than you give yourself credit for. And you both know that you would never accomplish what you have if it wasn't for the other.

Because of my new workout partner, I run 9 miles on Saturday afternoons. I have done 12 mph sprints on my treadmill (ok, so I peed my pants a little). I have put 40 miles on a spin bike in an hour and a half. I swam a mile in the pool! A mile! I'm not telling you about these accomplishments to brag about myself. I am bragging about her. Because without her motivation, I don't know when or if I would ever have pushed myself to accomplish these feats.

Beginners, if you ask me now about a workout partner, I will give you one answer. Yes, you should have one. But you can't have mine.

Thank you Courtney.

You Are Not Fat! Don't Ask Again!

Am I fat? What about these jeans, do they make me look fat? I know, I know, I look fat today. It's my period, water retention, I must be gaining muscle, maybe I have a thyroid problem. How many times have you said these things in the last week, month, year? I am so guilty myself. But when it comes right down to it, what purpose do these statements serve? And do we ever really get the response we are looking for? Many times, we are throwing out these comments as we indulge on chips and margaritas, or over a grande whole milk mocha with whipped cream. Does it really make any sense at all?

As a woman who has been known to be vocal with my self critcism, let me stand back and try to figure out why we do this. I have an outfit on and I feel like I don't look good. I'm worried someone else shares my perspective. I want that person to know that I don't think I look that good so that they don't think that I think I really look good. Makes sense, right? Hmmmm. . . .

In another scenario, I know that I am not the thinnest girl in the world. Yet I am eating a large piece of cake in the break room at work. A thinner girl walks in and I am suddenly quite self conscious. What is the first thing I say? "I know I shouldn't be eating this." Then she replies, "Neither should I" and I say, "Oh, you can totally get away with it." I want her to know that I know that she has way more business eating this cake than I do. Really? Should either of us be eating the cake?

On the flip side, I have many times been the witness to other women making these comments about themselves. The worst, we all know, is the dreaded question, "do I look fat?" Men have been telling us for years how much they hate this question. There is no way to answer correctly. Even if the woman looks amazing and you tell her the truth, she will put down your answer and insist that she does not look amazing at all, that in fact she has never looked worse.

Not only do we insist on insulting ourselves to anyone who will listen, but we can't take compliments very well either. It seems we are so concerned about appearing vain, that we would rather portray ourselves as ugly, fat, and completely lacking in self confidence.

So I believe the problem may be two fold. On one hand we lack confidence but on the other, we fear judgement if we come across as too confident. Wouldn't it be amazing if we could accept a compliment or, God forbid, compliment ourselves for a change?

It's pretty difficult when you think about it. I can't really envision myself trying on swimsuits and shouting through the fitting room, "man, I look GREAT in this thing." But here's a place to start. Might I suggest that it is not my fault the swimsuit designer didn't know how to make a suit to fit my body shape? Instead of "I look so fat in this suit," the language instead should be "This is a really ugly suit." Look at the way you choose your words and try to change them so that you can recognize things aren't perfect without completely destroying your self image.

The next step I want you to practice (and I vow to practice myself) is to learn to accept a compliment. The next time someone says "you look great in those jeans", you MUST say "Thank you." And when you thank that person, you may not look away as if you are ashamed. You may not say something like "yeah, these are the only ones that fit." You will look this wonderful complimentary person in the eye and offer your gratitude with a smile on your face. Honestly, this interaction will feel better for both of you.

Finally, and this one will be tough. No more of the self depricating statements. Make a deal with yourself to stop now. If you are enjoying cake in the kitchen, just eat it and accept it. You don't owe anyone an explanation for that. If you are ashamed of eating the cake, put it down! Wear clothes that you feel comfortable in and if someone compliments you, by all means, wear those jeans again and again and again. And strut around in them with a sense of confidence. People, including yourself, will take notice and you will appear stunning no matter how much you weigh. Chances are, you will like that feeling so much that you will be motivated to keep working on your fitness and weight loss goals.

Don't let your friends get away with this stuff anymore either. Refuse to engage in these conversations. It's as simple as ignoring it or outwardly stating that you will no longer respond to statements of self hate. By all means, support your friends through the truly difficult times but do not continue to say "no, you do not look fat" day after day. It only perpetuates these conversations. Please, if you hear me talking about myself this way, tell me to stop. I will be thankful.

I'm tired of women beating themselves up for their appearances and particularly for their weights. We expect to be treated with respect by our friends, supervisors, families, and partners but we don't place any limits on how badly we choose to abuse ourselves. Let's take a stand and start changing the way we speak about ourselves now.

It's good to be back.
Love,
Brooke

Superfan. . . . That's Me

Well, here we are. The morning after the Superbowl. Let me take some time out from my usual style of blog writing to devote an entire entry to this exceptional day. I have loved the Packers my whole life. I have rarely missed a game since 8th grade. My dad and I watched together for years, even when some fans wore paper bags over their heads to the games in the mid 80's. I would devise scenarios in my head that went something like this. . . .. "Well if they score now and then recover an onside kick, they could score again before the two minute warning," and so on and so on.

I've had many favorite players over these years, Majik, Robert Brooks, Reggie White. None was more beloved to me than the legend that was Brett Favre. I defended him almost to the bitter end, but when things got really bitter, I had to let go. He became a disappointment and let me down big time. I could handle the ego trip, the manipulation, even the multiple false retirements, but the way he fell apart over this past season has revealed more about him than I would ever be able or willing to defend.

It was time for a new legacy. Up until this season, I questioned Rodger's toughness and hated Clay's wet hair. We all watched as our starters fell, one by one, until much of the team was pushing ahead with names unknown to the casual fan. Guys who were not supposed to start, who may never have played, scored touchdowns on both sides of the ball. This gutsy team started the month of December with doubts in its mind, but they came out winners week after week with memorable plays like game saving interceptions by Williams and unforgettable touchdown dances like Raji's.

On Friday night I saw a show about Aaron Rodgers. It was him with an interviewer in a casual setting. He played guitar on the beach and talked about his life outside of football. He is a really cool guy, one I doubt will ever display grandiosity the way his predecessor did. On the field, he has proven toughness that I will never question again. He's held this team together with guts, intelligence, confidence, and one hell of an accurate arm.

So while I usually write about the challenges we face in our own efforts to improve our fitness and lives, let's use this week to instead be inspired by the team we love. Let's bask in the Superbowl win for a few more days. In a league filled with parity, the Packers have stood out as champions, a title they have earned and a title that is well deserved.

Have a great week!

High as a Kite

I didn't believe it until I experienced it myself. A runner's high? Meh. Not possible. A few years ago it was a foreign concept, something I actually thought was a myth, or an inside joke among runners. You mean it's possible to literally feel good after running? I could never relate. I always felt horrible after running. Wait a second, I never really ran for more than a mile. But that mile sure made me feel like garbage.

It took a long time for me to catch this famous buzz. I certainly didn't feel it the first time I ran a 5K. I have a photo of myself from that day. My cheeks are blazing red, I am hunched over, and look like I am one chest pain away from sudden death. I did not feel high that day. I felt sick. When I ran a quarter marathon in Madison, I felt a brief high. Beyonce inspired me to snap my fingers once. That was kind of nice, I guess. But I was still waiting, wanting to get high without doing something illegal.

Some of you have asked me about this. When will I feel a runner's high? How will I know when I feel it? I'm sorry, but I can't tell you. It's not that I want to keep it a secret from you, it's just that I don't know. I suspect it's a totally individual experience. Even now, I don't feel it every time I run. There are days when I have to force myself through a couple miles and I just want it to end.

But there are a select few special days when magic happens. Perhaps the stars are in perfect alignment, or I ate the perfect combination of complex carbs and lean protien. Maybe it has something to do with barometric pressure or estrogen. Yep, that's it. Must be estrogen.

You are responsible for your own high, but I'll give you a few secrets about how to get there. The best highs happen when you don't put a lot of pressure on yourself. Give yourself plenty of time, don't commit to a specific distance, and enjoy the world around you. My greatest highs usually occur out on a country road, when I can see for miles without the interference of technology or development. Just farmland and houses and casual encounters with little creatures.

Wanna get high? Take a deep breath, hold it for a few seconds, then let it out slowly. Steady, controlled breathing helps with mental focus. And we all know this running game shakes out to be about 80 percent mental. With a fierce mental focus, you will run stronger and farther, and increase your likelihood of reaching that high.

But what does it really feel like? You are dying to know, aren't you? For the record, I have never done cocaine. But I told my husband today that if cocaine feels anything like the way I felt after my run today, I can see how easily people can get hooked. Here's what it feels like for me. Despite sweating profusely, I actually begin to feel a little chilled. Like the chill you get up your spine when you are really excited or in awe of something. I'm suddenly keenly aware of everything around me. Nature looks more beautiful, the air smells fresher, and nothing in my body hurts.

The best part of getting high is how good you feel about yourself. Unstoppable. You feel literally unstoppable. You don't hate the place where your ass meets your leg (the lass as I like to call it). You don't question decisions you made last week. You believe you can accomplish anything you set your mind to. For once, you believe in yourself. There is no better way to acheive a sense of self confidence then by getting high from running.

Go for it. Try to get high every day this week if you can. You won't have to spend one dollar or go anywhere scary to get your fix. It is addicting. You will want more. And you'll want to convince your family and friends to get high with you. I've even encouraged my kid to get high with me! But there are some days when I just want to keep it all to myself. I'm almost high just telling you about it!

What a rush!!

U-Rah-Rah!!!

I've been a cheerleader my whole life. I had large pairs of green and gold pom pons when I was a small child. I would have preferred to sit on the side and cheer for my friends in little league. It seems I was never skilled at sports involving a ball. My professional cheerleading career started in 8th grade and I had a blast with my friends. And probably the closest I ever came to feeling like I won a state championship was the day my friends met me at the bus stop to let me know that we all made the varsity squad, as sophomores.

We were awesome cheerleaders and took our jobs very seriously. Every member of the football team had a poster on his locker before each game. We petitioned against the principal and school board when funding was cut so that we could no longer travel to away games. Thanks to our efforts and parents, that problem was solved. We sold tons of candy bars to earn money for new uniforms. I actually purchased more than I sold to others but still, the uniforms were fully funded. We really considered ourselves part of the team. But we were on sidelines for every game.

That spirit hasn't died. I am an avid Packers, Brewers, Bucks, and Ripon Tigers fan. My favorite summer weekends are the ones spent at Murray park, watching all the local kids suit up in orange and black. Honestly, I sometimes get stressed. I realize they're just kids but there's nothing like a double play to fire things up and I just can't take it when the umpire makes a bad call. My cheerleading days are far from over.

I'm sure most of you can relate. It's not all about sports either. We cheer when our kids do well in school or when someone gets married. We sing and dance in cheer when we go to concerts or special events. We root for the underdog, applaud the improbable victory and pull for a big finish. For goodness sake, I have stood in the crowd at a fishing tournament, waiting to cheer for my brother as he weighed in the biggest walleye. That is a superfan, I'm telling you.

But guess what? I'm not satisfied with just being on the side lines anymore. I want to know what it feels like to hit a home run, kick the winning field goal, or break away for a slam dunk. The old cliche, Life is Not a Spectator Sport, is really beginning to sink in. The competition may be a little different. (Remember, no sports that involve a ball.) It's now a battle for a faster time, longer distance, or a new challenge.

When I finished my first 5K, my father in law was standing near the finish line, hand outstretched. I slapped him a high five, for the first time in my life as the competitor and not the cheerleader. It felt awesome. The only way it would have been better is if he had orange and black pom pons to shake high in the air. If you know my father in law, you also know how funny it would have been to see him with said pom pons.

I'm not ready to give up my pom pons completely. I'm still going to use them to cheer for my son with so many fun years ahead of us. The Packers have given me reason to wish I still had those huge green and gold ones from my childhood. But I'm not going to hold onto my poms so tightly any more. I'm going to lend them out once in a while and let someone else do the cheering for a change. Now I've just got to get out there and give them something to cheer about.

It's a new week. Do something worthy of a special cheer.

Bling Bling

Do you remember that old saying, "Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold"? I've been thinking a lot about my friendships lately and that line always pops into my head. Gold and silver friendships have their differences but both are pretty special if you ask me.

How many gold friends do you have? Gold friends are so great because they already know everything about you. They remember the first time you served the ball over the net in 8th grade volleyball or the day you got your driver's license. They lived through your first broken heart and know why it's still a sensitive subject. You've had major successes together and probably some pretty messy failures too. I love gold friends because you can sit and talk for hours or you can ride in a car without saying a word and the silence isn't at all awkward. In fact, it's kind of nice. You can sing in front of them, change in front of them, and even fart in front of them without embarrassment.

The other awesome thing about gold friends is that your relationships with them can endure lapses in time, distance, and even disagreement. If a gold friendship gets dusty or buried in the dirt for a while, it's pretty easy to dust it off and shine it right back up again. Two minutes of catching up and you are right back to the comfortable feeling of being together. I saw a gold friend today for the first time in a long time. We just passed each other for a moment and shared a smile. We didn't stop to talk and that was ok. That smile said enough words for an hour of conversation and it reminded me of fun that dated back to second grade.

Silver friends feel a little different but that's what is so cool about them. These are the people who teach you about new things and bring you out of your shell. There is nothing better than meeting someone new and hitting it off immediately, talking for hours and feeling excited about getting together again. Silver friends are fresh and fun. Best of all, they don't yet know your faults or your annoying bad habits.

Facebook has created a type of friendship that we haven't had to consider before, the colorless friends. Friends that aren't really friends at all. Instead, they recognize your name, have met you once, or are being nosy about you. At some point, they might feel like they know you but it's based on status update alone. They know that you cheered for the Packers or that you "like" the Gap, but if you see them at Walmart you try your hardest to avoid running into them. The jury is still out on colorless friends. I often contemplate starting over on Facebook, a new account with no colorless friends, but then who would I spy on and gossip about?

I honestly think there are times when friendships get stale, lose their color. The gold or silver is so tarnished, it can't be shined up again. It's a tough lesson but I've learned it's ok to let those friendships go. If neither of you has worked on keeping the friendship shiny, it's best to focus on those who continue to shine brightly, or those who just need a little buffing.

So while my silver friends are impressed by my enthusiasm for running and fitness in general, my gold friends know how hard it was for me to get here. They were with me to lie to the cheerleading coach about running a 1 mile warm up at practice. Or beg the gym teacher to let us play HORSE on the side to avoid being killed by the guys who were playing basketball for real in gym class. I'm sure a lot of them still can't believe how I've changed in the past few years. But being the gold friends they are, maybe they knew I had this buried somewhere inside me.

Speaking of gold, I give a gold star this week to Brandi K. who met and exceeded her beginning fitness goal and is laughing in the faces of the New Year's resolution foes. I also want to wish a very Happy Birthday to my best silver-turned-gold friend, Deb (Totie) Kraus Nagel. My life just wouldn't be nearly as fun without you.

So here's to all my friends, gold and silver. Work hard and enjoy your week!

Make Your Dreams Come True

It's so fun to talk to kids about what they want to be when they grow up. My kid is a typical boy. The answer is usually baseball player or race car driver. What I love about kids is that they say what they really mean, from the heart. They don't think about how much money the job will pay or what obstacles stand in the way. Little boys don't see any reason they can't be a professional ball player. They love to play ball and so they think that is what they should do. Makes sense, doesn't it?

I've started asking new clients that question when I first meet them. So many of them are burdened and unhappy because of the stress they encounter at work. They are tired and beaten down. They dread Monday morning so much that they can't even tolerate Sunday nights anymore. Ask them what they want to be and a dreamy look comes over them. Maybe even a small smile as they think of something that could have made them truly happy.

As a preschooler, I wanted to be a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader. Wouldn't that be fun? In middle school, I wanted to be an archeaologist. I thought it would be so fun to find old stuff and examine it. No one told me that this would include hours of tedious digging and almost no salary. Another good career prospect was sun screen tester. I was certain, at age 14, that there must be people who would have to test the sun screen. As much as I loved tanning, I was sure to be the best candidate for the job. Skin cancer? Wrinkles? Neither mean a thing to a 14 year old!

If you asked me now, I would tell you I'm pretty content. Once I realized that testing sunscreen was really a ludicrous idea, it became clear to me that I wanted to do something in medicine. Even then, I tried many avenues before finally settling into mental health. Lately, it has crossed my mind that I would love to get certified as a personal trainer, teach yoga classes, or write for a fitness magazine. These days, those dreams don't seem so ludicrous.

Think about it. Maybe you can't change what you do. You might be stuck in your job or career. Perhaps the pay or the benefits are too good to give up. Certainly, the job market isn't open to much change right now. Or maybe, like me, you are content with what you are doing. But what other dreams do you have? If you could have a second career, what would it be? And what would it take for you to get there?

Trying something new can teach you a lot about yourself. If you had told me five years ago that I should think about a career in fitness, I would have died laughing. Hard, gut wrenching laughter. But that laughter would have been more about self doubt, lack of confidence, and fear of the unknown than it would have been about anything really funny.

Many of you have joined me in a commitment to run a 5K or half marathon this fall. Lots of you have never done anything like this before. Do you know how brave you are? Do you know how much I admire you? And most of all, do you have any idea how excited I am to see you succeed? For some of you, I know you still have doubts about this accomplishment, which is certainly a normal way to feel. You'll probably have some fear and doubt until you cross the finish.

But you will cross the finish, and do you know what will happen? You will start asking yourself, what else can I do? When you accomplish something big, it opens doors all over your life. Whether you want to take it further and run a marathon, go back to school, or take on any other challenge, you will be equipped to handle anything. So start dreaming. What do you want to be when you grow up?

Let's Get it Started

Well, last week I presented you with a challenge. Join me for the Fox Cities Community First Marathon, participating in the event of your choice. The invitation is still open. You are still welcome. If you haven't received an official invite via Facebook and you want in, let me know. Your options include a 5K, 1/2 marathon walk or run, full marathon or marathon relay (4 or 5 people split the 26.2 mile race).

I am worried that some people might be questioning my motivation here. I don't want to come off as a know-it-all or give the impression that I am some fabulous athlete. On the contrary, I have a long way to go and could use some support! I'm doing this to share the joy of the accomplishment but also to learn from your journey. At the very least, I just want to facilitate a way for us all to learn and grow together. I'm hoping to get to know some of you better and get closer to those of you I already know and love.

With that being said, several of you have commented that you are going to need some extra support or guidance. Many have asked me where to start. All of you are starting at different places, so here is what I will suggest. Those of you who have a head start, do your thing. Newbies, this week, at some point, you need to complete a one mile course. You can walk, run or a combination of both but I want you to time yourself and write it down somewhere. They did this at the beginning of last season's Biggest Loser and I loved it because it will give you a place to look back to at the end when a mile no longer seems like a challenge but a warm up.

This mile can occur anywhere. No treadmill? Walk outside. YES, I know it's cold. NO MORE EXCUSES!!! Bundle up and move your body. You won't freeze to death walking outside and a mile will not take you any longer than 20 minutes or so, even as a beginner. Oh, but who will watch my kid (s)? Again, this excuse can't fly anymore. Figure it out. Walk on your lunch break, drop them off somewhere, pay a high schooler or tell your husband that this is your time. For goodness sake, call me. I'll watch your kids while you work out, and I'm not even joking. I don't care how you do it but you must find a way to make time for yourself. This will be one of the hardest challenges but also one of the key points to successfully reaching your goal.

Next, you must have decent shoes. I understand the financial burden of good walking or running shoes. But please trust me. You can spend 40 bucks at Kohls or Shopko right now and one of the following things will likely happen. You will either get hurt or you will end up buying another pair of shoes. I know this because I have spent hundreds of dollars messing around with cheap shoes and shin splints. Please consider going to RunAway Shoes in Oshkosh or Fleet Feet in Appleton and being properly fitted for shoes. (I'm sure similar stores exist outside this area).Don't let it scare, embarrass, or intimidate you. The staff is very considerate of new runners and they will help you choose a shoe that will work for you and hopefully help prevent injuries. There is a lot of great running gear to spend money on but the only thing you really need is decent shoes. The rest is all just fun.

Finally, start talking and reading, as much as you can. Talk to other runners at all levels and find out what worked for them. In this group alone you have good resources. Sara Radloff, Shaunda Jennings, Erin Endreson, Rebecca Yancy Lorge, and Brenda Velissaris have all completed half marathons. Diana Malkowski and Erin Moldenhauer have both run full marathons! Send these women messages and ask questions. I know all of them would be happy to share their experiences. (I also know they all wear decent shoes.) Get on the web and scour running sites, active.com, and anything else you can find. Bob Harper from the Biggest Loser has great workouts on his site.

Read Runner's World. At first, it will seem that it only applies to "real runners" but sooner or later that group will include you and the information you learn from reading will have been instrumental in getting you there. One word of caution, not everything you learn will apply to you. Everyone's bodies and limits are different. Take what works for you and let the rest go. Don't pressure yourself to be at the same training point as someone else. Just stay focused on your own goals.

Today is the first day of the new year. We have 259 days, plenty of time, to reach our goals. I am personally so excited by the responses I have received from all of you. Kudos to Laura Albright who hopped right on her treadmill and did 2+ miles the FIRST TIME!!! I can't wait to hear about your progress! All of you. It's going to be a wonderful year.