I learned a lot this weekend and I spent most of it on a baseball diamond.
But let me back up a second.
If you are married, you know how hard marraige can be. If you are divorced, you know all too well. If you've never been married, let that be caution to you! The point is that in marraiges there are days, sometimes even months, when you look at your spouse and wish you had never met him or her. And there are years when you realize just how good you've got it.
I'll be the first to admit my marriage has been through a rough spell. Without giving out the gory details, I will share that we've shouted threats of divorce to one another. We probably have had the same arguments as many of you, usually about money. Evil, relationship-ruining money. I can be controlling, bossy, and cold while my husband can be inattentive and impulsive. Which, by the way, just makes me more controlling and bossy. I'm always convinced that he doesn't understand how to be in a "relationship". I'm sure many of you other wives can relate.
So that brings me back to the baseball diamond. My husband has been busy all spring coaching our son's baseball team. I think he has a good balance of competitive spirit and understanding that 8 year olds are still learning the game. He devotes so much time to practicing and planning and working with the kids individually and as a team. He doesn't want to let anyone down, especially the kids. Bottom line, he works hard at this relationship with his team. And he expects them to work hard in return.
This weekend, our team was in their first tournament of the year. It was the first tournament ever for most of our inexperienced team. Unfortunately, it was not the first tournament for many of our experienced competitors. Toward the end of our last game, our kids were down by at least 15 runs and they were coming off the field for their next at bat. Their heads were hanging pretty low, it was really hot, and we had a few more innings to go. My husband gathered the kids up and told them that they could make mistakes but they could not give up, ever. He shouted to them, "men work hard and don't give up!" Don't tell him I told you but I think he even choked up a bit.
The kids didn't pull off the win, but they didn't give up either. They scored a few more runs and allowed a few less in the remaining innings of the game. It was heart breaking and heart warming at once. I didn't want to see those kids lose but I loved seeing how hard they tried to make the team and their families proud.
I started to think that the relationship between coach and team is kind of like a marraige. It can be so hard and feel so bad that you feel almost willing to walk away with your head hanging low. But if one of you walks away, you both lose. When you continue to work hard, together, every one around you can enjoy the win. Or at least appreciate the effort it took to try to get there.
When I saw my husband with his team this weekend, I appreciated him in a way I haven't for a long time. I saw that he can be very attentive and patient and that he does understand how relationships work. I realized that I need to let go of things a bit and be more laid back when I just want things to go my way. I realized that I'm not willing to give up, not even close.
Whether it's your kid's baseball team, your marraige, or some battle within yourself, it's important to keep fighting. Even though my husband told his team that men don't give up, it's important to know that women don't give up either. Keep fighting ladies!
